Porn Addiction
During high school a few close friends shared with me that they were addicted to porn. This shook my world. Great, if these guys struggle with porn, then everyone does. This was especially hard to grasp because growing up I believed that if you viewed pornography then you were fundamentally sick, a bad person, and had a legitimate addiction.
After these encounters I was mostly suspicious of men who entered into my life. Is he a porn addict too? I started reading Christian books about overcoming porn and attending porn addiction support groups for loved ones of porn addicts. For the most part, these efforts only fed my fear of the streets running rampant with porn addicts. I began to dehumanize these men who viewed porn.
Because of the conservative religious culture I grew up in I believed that if someone viewed it (at all) they were an addict. It didn't matter the frequency. Instead of being curious and asking questions to understand, I was shell-shocked and horrified. This misconception of porn addicts led me to view them as forever broken.
The porn addict label is often handed out in conservative areas like candy on Halloween.
This can be an extremely dis-empowering label because, by definition and AA culture, an addict is an addict...permanently. They are cursed with their addiction for the rest of their lives. Addiction is a serious label that shouldn't be thrown around lightly. Luckily, I later learned that just because you struggle with porn doesn't mean you are addicted to it.
In a study conducted at Brigham Young University, the research "suggested that religious individuals are more likely to perceive themselves to be addicted to pornography, regardless of how often they are actually using pornography" (Leonhardt, Willoughby & Young-Petersen, 2017). When people perceive themselves as porn addicts they can fall into the trap of feeling damaged which can lead them to isolate and demonize themselves.
I read an article which helped me escape the polarized notion that every person who struggles with porn is an addict. This article was written by a Christian religious leader named Dallin H. Oaks in October 2015. Oaks explains the porn use spectrum in the context of religious principles and social science's understanding of addiction and compulsive behaviors:
After these encounters I was mostly suspicious of men who entered into my life. Is he a porn addict too? I started reading Christian books about overcoming porn and attending porn addiction support groups for loved ones of porn addicts. For the most part, these efforts only fed my fear of the streets running rampant with porn addicts. I began to dehumanize these men who viewed porn.
Because of the conservative religious culture I grew up in I believed that if someone viewed it (at all) they were an addict. It didn't matter the frequency. Instead of being curious and asking questions to understand, I was shell-shocked and horrified. This misconception of porn addicts led me to view them as forever broken.
The porn addict label is often handed out in conservative areas like candy on Halloween.
This can be an extremely dis-empowering label because, by definition and AA culture, an addict is an addict...permanently. They are cursed with their addiction for the rest of their lives. Addiction is a serious label that shouldn't be thrown around lightly. Luckily, I later learned that just because you struggle with porn doesn't mean you are addicted to it.
In a study conducted at Brigham Young University, the research "suggested that religious individuals are more likely to perceive themselves to be addicted to pornography, regardless of how often they are actually using pornography" (Leonhardt, Willoughby & Young-Petersen, 2017). When people perceive themselves as porn addicts they can fall into the trap of feeling damaged which can lead them to isolate and demonize themselves.
I read an article which helped me escape the polarized notion that every person who struggles with porn is an addict. This article was written by a Christian religious leader named Dallin H. Oaks in October 2015. Oaks explains the porn use spectrum in the context of religious principles and social science's understanding of addiction and compulsive behaviors:
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| Dallin H. Oaks |
- 1. Inadvertent Exposure. Everyone will be exposed in some way to porn. It happens. The point is not to pursue it when it does happen. Oaks explains, "It is like a mistake, which calls for correction rather than repentance."
- 2. Occasional Use. This is when you intentionally pursue it and use it. The use frequency is every now and then. Oaks cautions porn viewers in this stage because "The danger with any intentional use of pornography, no matter how casual or infrequent, is that it always invites more frequent exposure."
- 3. Intensive Use. This level of porn use is when it's intentionally sought out and used frequently--so frequent that it becomes a bad habit and "almost involuntary." Oaks warns that "With habitual use, individuals experience a need for more stimulus to have the same reaction in order to be satisfied."
- 4. Compulsive Use (Addiction). "A person’s behavior is addictive when it forms a 'dependency' (a medical term applied to the use of drugs, alcohol, compulsive gambling, etc.) amounting to an 'irresistible compulsion' that 'takes priority over almost everything else in life.'"
- After learning about this spectrum I immediately went to my friends and declared, "You're not an addict!"
- Oaks clarifies the importance of knowing the porn spectrum by teaching the following: "Once we recognize these different levels, we also recognize that not everyone who uses pornography willfully is addicted to it. In fact, most young men and young women who struggle with pornography are not addicted. That is a very important distinction to make—not just for the parents, spouses, and leaders who desire to help but also for those who struggle with this problem. Here is why:
- ...If behavior is incorrectly classified as an addiction, the user may think he or she has lost agency and the capacity to overcome the problem. This can weaken resolve to recover and repent. On the other hand, having a clearer understanding of the depth of a problem—that it may not be as ingrained or extreme as feared—can give hope and an increased capacity to exercise agency to discontinue and repent."
- Oak concludes, "Finally, it is important not to label even intensive or habitual use of pornography as an addiction because that does not accurately describe the circumstances or the full nature of the required repentance and recovery. Having a better understanding of where a person is in the process will also allow a better understanding of what action is necessary to recover." (Oaks, 2015)
- In conjunction with this, a Marriage & Family Therapist and Sex Therapist, Angie Cella discussed in an interview how most of her clients who view pornography come to her feeling they are addicted, but most do not fit addiction criteria. When this happens Cella teaches her clients how they are participating in something which is against their value system and helps them move forward in breaking these incongruent habits.
- The take away message is that labeling yourself or others as a porn addict is doing more harm than good. I realize there are arguments stating whether we should even stigmatize porn use at all. This is an argument that I do not intend to address here. I am concerned mostly with those who view pornography use as harmful. Nevertheless, with my arguments above, I want to change the conversation of how we often place the "addict" label on others or ourselves incorrectly. This stems from a lack of understanding of what an addiction actually is (for info on addiction criteria click here). As we discern between the difference between a bad habit and an addiction then maybe less people will be without hope in their lives.
References
- Leonhardt, N. D., Willoughby, B. J., & Young-Petersen, B. (2017). Damaged Goods: Perception of Pornography Addiction as a Mediator Between Religiosity and Relationship Anxiety Surrounding Pornography Use. The Journal of Sex Research, 1-12.
- https://www.drugabuse.gov/publications/media-guide/science-drug-abuse-addiction-basics
- https://www.psychiatry.org/psychiatrists/practice/dsm
- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=51pKbO-OJ00
- https://www.lds.org/ensign/2015/10/recovering-from-the-trap-of-pornography?lang=eng&_r=1
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